Finding your purpose

The empty nest is almost as scary as when I found out I was pregnant. I knew my whole world would never be the same and I was never as scared as I was when I found out I was pregnant. Maybe scared is the wrong word. Nervous and excited are likely the better words. I read all the books about babies and raising kids, talked about it, had baby showers, and planned for 9 months.

I repurposed my home to accommodate this new being into my world. Painted the nursery and picked out clothes to bring her home from the hospital. Then I nursed the baby. I gave her so many kisses, I thought for sure she would have lip prints on her chubby cheeks and little toes. I loved baby toes!

Then the second baby girl came along and the house was blissfully full! There were rare moments of quiet or silence from the day the first baby arrived.

From that moment I had a purpose. No matter what happened, my assignment was clear. I was a mom above all else and I reveled in it. I understood my assignment as a mother, more so as a single mom, raising girls. As the nest began to empty I began wondering what my new purpose was in the empty nest.

I began discovering my new purpose in the empty nest when the first one left (because I’m a planner). In the 3 years that I had between the first and second one leaving for college, a plan came together. And then my purpose became clear. From there, I had to figure out the steps to take that would make my purpose clear.

So, you may be thinking, ok that’s great, but how do I figure out MY purpose in this next season. I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up!

You’re in luck! Not only have I been there and done that, but I can also help you articulate your purpose and figure out your next steps… and then the steps after that.

The most crucial step in discovering your purpose in the empty nest is discovering who you want to be. Other than a mom! Because you finished that assignment and might I just say “Well done good and faithful servant”(Matt 25:23). 

So, my friend, who do you want to be?

We planned for 9 months to be a mom and figure out what kind of mom we wanted to be, so now we can plan in reverse for the empty nest.

Once you decide who you want to be, then together we can discover the habits and behaviors of that person and begin to inhabit those traits. It takes work but it’s not nearly as painful as giving birth (ha!).

Who do you want to be?

Finish this sentence. I want to be…

  • Sexy
  • Healthy
  • Helpful
  • Adventurous
  • Generous
  • Self-employed
  • Educated
  • Inclusive
  • Dreamer
  • Pianist 
  • Pickleball champion
  • Writer
  • Amazing chef

These are just a few of the adjectives that you can use to help you discover who YOU want to be. Have some fun with this, no one is going to look at your list. You first have to know who you want to be so you can behave like that person. 

Take some time to research someone you admire. Who inspires you? What are some of their traits that you can work on to incorporate into your own life?

Use a great journal and list 2 traits on each page of the journal, then begin to jot down the habits/traits of that person. For instance, you decide you want to be a pianist. What habits does a pianist have? They practice piano, they take lessons from a skilled teacher, they listen to piano music, they attend piano concerts…

This is a great first step to discovering your purpose in the empty nest. 

I have a 5 day Valentine’s challenge where we are going to look at creating steps to find your purpose in this next phase of your life. When you sign up you will get a video in your inbox each morning, starting Valentine’s Day to help you discover your purpose in the empty nest!

Are you ready? Join the Valentine’s challenge today and start discovering your new purpose!