Have you ever had a vision of how “things” are going to be. And how YOU will be while doing those “things” and then reality hits and it’s not all that you imagined it would be?
You find yourself disappointed
When I arrived at my first Airbnb, I experienced this disappointment so strongly, in fact, that I called my boyfriend and told him I was going to move to a different place. I was not only disappointed in the place itself but in the location. Nothing was what I imagined it would be. And I didn’t fall in love with the place.
Fortunately, he talked me off the ledge, and reminded me that the reason I was here was to simply move both of my girls to their respective homes for the coming year. That same week my youngest was auditioning to be in the FSU Marching Chiefs. She was disappointed in the rigorous schedule and in her performance at some of the auditions. Add to that, as I was talking to another friend about her son’s girlfriend’s new job as a teacher, she was telling me how disappointed his girlfriend was with her first classroom. Nothing was as she imagined, she was not able to achieve the (immediate) success she had hoped and all felt lost in that first week.
All of these situations got me thinking about disappointment in our lives and how we handle it. I think we can all relate to things that were not as we had imagined at first. We had high hopes that immediately everything was going to be rainbows and butterflies all the time and then reality hit us and we had to readjust to the rainclouds and cicadas (oh maybe that’s just me;))!
You know the child’s song……you can’t go over it, you can’t go under it, you can’t go around it, you gotta go THROUGH it. We all face disappointment, it’s how we go through it that makes or breaks us. So I have some tips on how to handle disappointment.
What to do when you are disappointed
- Cry it out!
- Find and focus on the good. There is good in every situation. Sometimes you have to look hard but I promise you that there is good in there somewhere. Look HARD my friends.
- Learn the lesson. Is there something you can do differently to have a different outcome? Can you do more research? Can you find support? Can you practice differently?
- Do small things that help you feel better and keep you focused on what is right in front of you. Small things like practice gratitute, help a stranger or a friend do something that’s hard for them, easy for you, watch a fun movie, compliment someone, start a new exercise, make a to-do list and start checking things off, get lost in a great fiction book, bake something, buy yourself some flowers.
In my first adventure (and disappointment) of this year-long journey, I found – a very rural slow pace, a quiet that I am not quite comfortable with and really weird/interesting places on the panhandle of Florida.
I cannot lie and say that I’m not ready to move on to the next adventure but since I know this is the place I am going to be staying for another couple of weeks, I’m learning to “relax” and adjust to a new normal, perhaps with less sunshine and rainbows but I have found that the night sky out here is so full of stars that I have never seen before because of lights on streets and at houses (not much of that out here). So I’m focusing on appreciating the slower pace, the beautiful night sky and the opportunity to learn more about myself.
How do you handle disappointment?